My Obsession
by WholockedFannibal
Summary: The Midlife Crisis shows in a different way from person to person. Some change their job, some start an affair, others buy an expensive car. But with Hugh Dancy it's easier and harder at the same time - he wants so sleep with his colleague. I DIDN'T WRITE THIS MASTERPIECE I JUST TRANSLATED IT FROM RUSSIAN! Credit goes to: ficbook(dot)net/readfic/174147, vk(dot)com/sayuri527
1. Lack of Experience

The thought of wanting Mads formed in Dancy's head for the first time after another cast meeting, which Fuller used to schedule twice a month. They sat in a small meeting room, which they rented every second and fourth wednesday of the month, behind an oval-shaped desk covered with papers of their scenarios, contracts, notebooks and pens. The main cast of their film crew participated in this and after two hours of talking and arguing the narrow room became a fuggy hell. Hugh emptied his bottle of water a long time ago and glanced at Mads' still unopened bottle with jealousy, who sat almost opposite of him, just beside the producer. Everything seemed to be as usual...

„We still haven't settled on which change in the relationship between Will and Hannibal the audience can look forward to." Bryan didn't look worn out and tired, like the rest of the cast, at all. Maybe Mikkelsen also looked a bit more refreshed, but this could be explained by some sort of distance and unusual quietness of the Dane. He almost didn't participate in the debates today.

„Let's just make them marry each other" the scenarist Jeff chuckled, „THAT will be a change of events!"

Fuller suddenly snapped his fingers, attracting everyone's attention:

„Joking aside, shouldn't we already cross the line of this bromance?" the executive producer gave everyone in the room a triumphant look, „since we've already decided to „grow" the caracters Will Graham and Clarice Starling together?"

„Will the channel allow us to introduce an uhm...unconventional relationship?" Michael Kessler asked, and, like the rest of the room, not quite understanding whether Bryan was joking or not.

„You can always negotiate with the channel," the series' creator merrily waved off the issue, „It's more important to serve this dish correctly."

Fuller winked at Mads.

„We will have to be careful." the Dane said with a calm voice. „We have to make the viewer ready for this, make a monitoring of the whole situation. We have to handle this with care."

Hugh felt himself blushing. They have already brushed on the subject of „an unconventional relationship between Hannibal and Will" but earlier, they were just kidding. And now they were dead serious, discussing the change of their characters' relationship on a romantic, even sexual stage. And Mads was seemingly okay with it.

„What does our fearless profiler think about this?" Fuller turned to Hugh. Twenty pairs of eyes stared at him. In those few seconds he had left to think, he reminisced all the movies he played in. Of course, he remembered „Savage Grace", but it wasn't quite like this back then...He didn't even have to kiss this ugly boy. Eddie Redmaine, right? Seemed like his hopes of avoiding to play a homosexual were crushed after all. Dancy glanced helplessly between the tired faces of his colleagues, stopping on Mikkelsen. The Dane looked directly at him, his dark eyes almost seemed to be black, and his lips suddenly caught a glimpse of a smile.

„Why not?" Hugh gave in to the provocation, surprised by himself. Without breaking the eye contact with his colleague, he added: „I think, it's very much possible to present their relationship from this point of view. At least, I can speak for my character. I can guarantee that I can play whatever you want to show the people."

„Mmmh, even a sex scene?" Fuller grinned. Everyone seemed a bit noisier now, some were giggling and some even gossiped silently.

Hugh felt a strange trembling inside. He didn't have this before, work has always been just work. But something has been going on with him for a while now. He knew that Fuller was kidding but his brain was empty at the moment. He didn't know what to answer, how to joke in return. Everyone was chatting with each other and only Mads continued staring at him calm, peaceful and with a glimpse of an ironic smile on his thin lips. For the first time this evening the Dane took his water bottle, opened it lazily and took a sip. Hugh swallowed with him, feeling a strange, tingling emotion inside him. 

„Little Hugh isn't experienced enough for a sex scene" Mads turned to Fuller with a grin.

Dancy was literally flashed. But he missed the moment, Bryan tapped Mads' shoulder approvingly and commented something on his movie „Shake it All About". After this their conversation changed into a more safe direction.

By the time they were allowed to go back home, Hugh already recovered his balance a bit. He still felt a bit shattered. A feeling in between melancholy and annoyance was nagging at him and he couldn't fight it. But lately he could expect anything from himself: he had sudden changes of mood, either he wanted to get drunk (and he did in the bar), or he didn't leave the house for weeks during the evening, wasting his time watching stupid talk shows on TV. A tiny thing like an open shoelace could make him upset, and he would easily get angry. For example if, they couldn't finish filming a scene by schedule. Especially if the circumstances of the delay were of a „natural" type, meaning the intractability of the dog-actors. He barely called Claire and once it happened, their conversations always ended with argueing and furiously hanging up. Above all, Dancy was annoyed by the ironic comments of his wife, saying „her soft husband is just constantly PMSing". But an old friend had said the better and more fitting diagnose: a midlife crisis.

„You can't just get over it somehow, Hugh" this friend once said in a bar with another glass of Calsberg. „You need some kind of a change, some push in the right direction. What is it you need? A new car? A house? A new job? Maybe you want to go travelling?"

Back then Hugh didn't know the answer to this question. 

Or he did, he just didn't want to admit to himself.

When Dancy was strolling back to his Saab on the parking lot after the meeting, Mads suddenly caught up with him.

„Bryan was kind of strange today" the Dane said, lighting a cigarette.

Hugh glanced at the cigarette in the hands of his friend. He himself didn't smoke. Ever. He hadn't even tried. But now he had the unbearable urge to light one. The urge was so strong and sudden that blood rushed into the face of the Brit.

„I don't think he's serious about this" Hugh mumbled, digging his hands deeper in the pockets of his jacket. There was a stinging cold wind outside.

„Who knows" Mads chuckled. He exhaled the bitter smoke, which was waved away by the wind directly in Dancy's face. Hugh inhaled deeply, absorbing this scent. The scent of Mads.

„Although I think it wouldn't be such a bad experience for you" Mads said out of a sudden.

Dancy almost choked. His heart was beating fast and, kind of, aching.

„Why's that?" He asked a bit too harsh.

The Dane turned to face him.

„I noticed you are getting tense as soon as the conversation strikes Hannigram..."

„Hanni-what?"

„About the development of our characters' relationship into „more than friends". I know you haven't had experience with those kind of...scenes. They're not frightening, but you overcome your own doubts, your inner demons, are raising your own professionalism as an actor..."

„Meaning I'm not professional enough from your point of view?" burst out of Hugh.

Mads stopped. They have just arrived at his own Toyota.

„That's what I'm talking about." the Dane took a last pull on his cigarette and snapped it in a bush. „Why are these conversations always making you so furious?"

„They're now making me furious. I don't care. Work is work. I'm just really tired" Dancy didn't know how to end this conversation more quickly. Of course, Mikkelsen wasn't as good as the legendary psychoanalytic Hannibal Lecter, but he unmistakingly pointed at his weak point. Just a little bit and Hugh would have given away that filming with Mads is getting harder for him. That his head strangely empties itself as soon as the Dane is looking him directly in the eyes. That the scent of cigarettes has become more pleasant for him than the freshly mown lawn. Or Claire's perfume. That in the morning he doesn't think of the scenes he is about to play this day but that he is going to play them with Mikkelsen. The bromance is helping. Because Will's confusion, his suppressed attraction to doctor Lecter are partly the feelings of Dancy himself.

How to overcome the crisis? The answer is obvious. He was attached to Mads Mikkelsen. Obsessively, as Bedelia du Maurier might say. Obsessive thoughts, obsessive images, obsessive desires...The farther the more unbearable they became. He couldn't overcome it...

„See you tomorrow" Hugh grumbled, shivering in the wind. Not waiting for an answer, he stepped towards his Saab, which was parked a few cars away.

Today he would have to empty his whiskey bottle again a bit before sleep.


	2. The Scent of Cigarettes

Hugh Dancy couldn't tell when all of this started, this attraction, interest, his caring for him. The only thing he knew for sure was that Mads mezmerised him since back then, 10 years ago, during the shooting of „King Arthur". He was different than all the other actors with his accent („the Danish lisp" has become his trademark) or his unusually sharp facial features or this glimpse of mischief glowing in his honey-coloured eyes. There was something back then which hooked him and since then Hugh preferred to have dinner with the company of the ironic Dane. They became friends quickly but after they finished filming the movie, life sent them apart, working and living on other continents. Hugh was acting in the States, Mads went back home to Denmark and when Mads came back to America to shoot „Casino Royale" Hugh was in Britain. They have lost contact and their friendship faded in everyday troubles and casual grey days. During those years Hugh managed to get a wife and a kid, as well as a cozy home on the west coast.

And then destiny brought them together again. Dancy remembered this rainy tuesday like yesterday, the day he met up with Fuller at Starbucks in Los Angeles. Bryan offered him the leading role in his new project. „Which one?" Hugh asked then, sipping on his steaming coffee. „A TV show about Hannibal Lecter" The Brit almost choked on his beverage. Deja vu? Seven years ago he tried to get into a movie about Hannibal Lecter and he almost got the role of the serial killer and cannibal. Until this impudent and bootlicking Gaspard Ulliel showed up, it was, and lady fortune closed her door into the universe of the Thomas Harris books for Hugh. „Who am I going to play?" Hugh asked back then, trying to hide his excitement."Will Graham" Disappointment and anger were building like a huge wave inside Hugh. He already opened his mouth to refuse, he wouldn't even ask about the contract, the terms and stuff like this, but Fuller was faster: „You won't believe me who I choose for the role of doctor Lecter!" Making a theatrical pause, Fuller literally overwhelmed Dancy: „Mads Mikkelsen!" Hugh unhurriedly placed his cup of coffee on the table. If Fuller would have chosen to look into his face closely, he would have noticed how the Brits pupils widened momentarily. How his heart skipped a beat and his ears turned bright red. No, Hugh wasn't in love with Mads. Not back then. But he remembered him and after all those years he felt the incredible urge to see him again. And he said „yes", he accepted the job, without knowing any further details. One simple word was enough for him to change his mind. Mads.

The clock is ticking for everyone, but the age didn't spoil Mikkelsen. Yes, he grew older, but with it some confidence and serenity appeared, the mischief in his eyes was replaced by some aristocratic melancholy. The ideal posture, the smoothness, the coolness, at the same time mixed with politeness made him an almost stereotypical european in the mind of americans. He instantly charmed all the cast and Dancy's admiration was a bit lost in the background of all the people. Everyone knew how great the Dane was: the astounding acting of the villain Le Chiffre, the award of the Cannes festival for best actor and countless other awards to follow. But the joy of meeting an old friend mixed with bitter envy. Dancy was almost fourty but what did HE succeed at? What could HE brag about, what did HE accomplish in the past ten years? This is how the crisis started.

Their friendship started anew. Hugh was incredibly glad, that Mads didn't forget him. The scenario was easy to learn, the work was even fun from time to time. But something was growing inside, something dark and burning, fed on fascination and thoroughly hidden envy. Dancy didn't like scenes, where doctor Lecter came close to Will because in those moments Hugh felt a strange excitement, and although nothing special happened, regardless of the cameras and projectors pointed at them, he felt uneasy. Like he was doing something wrong. Like there was some secret, some special tension between him and Mads which was suddenly visible to others. Hugh had never felt anything like this before while filming. No other actor made him feel as uneasy as he did.

In the interviews Hugh said that it was a great honour for him, being able to work with Mads Mikkelsen. But he never said that the Dane has become an idol for him, a role model to look up to, an object of almost fanatic adoration. No one knew that Dancy reread all the articles and reviews considering the Dane and has rewatched all the movies with him. During the nights he would watch them with subtitles on his tablet with his headphones on, silently moving his lips and speaking the lines together with him. He imagined himself in those movies, the way he would have played the one or the other scene. Falling asleep, he would imagine himself and Mads on the red carpet, maybe even arriving at the „Oscars". The tired and half asleep brain sometimes switched the images in Hugh's imagination and being on the red carpet turned into some other nonsense, like a fishing trip together or a walk in the park. Dancy tried to wave away those thoughts, because they planted seeds of doubt inside him and were not clear to him. Conscientiously, Hugh wanted to stay professional and think of Mads as an actor, but in his subconscious, in his cencored part of mind, there were other desires, tearing their way to freedom under his mask of decency and turning into his wet dreams, which Dancy couldn't remember in the morning. But he knew he felt very uneasy, ashamed and excited about Mads Mikkelsen.

It was an obsession. The Dane filled Hugh Dancy's mind with him, which, of course, was easy to notice in their everyday conversations. The Brit would either shun away from Mads, avoiding even looking at him, or he would literally force himself on him, following him around everywhere, even if he needed a smoke. Then they just stood there silently. Mads would smoke and smile, lost in his own thoughts, and Hugh would sit beside him and look at the sky above the filming pavillons. No one really cared about the behaviour of one of the leading actors because Hugh tended to behave in an unpredictable way anyway. He would argue with everyone because of small things, would be hysterical, work until exhaustion, he could ask for time off on a usual day just because he needed some time to relax. Everyone knew the reason, they speculated about the envy Hugh experienced for the achievements of his old friend, but on the whole, he didn't care.

The situation started to take a dangerous turn of events after the meeting, where Fuller started questioning the unclear relationship between Will and Hannibal dead serious for the first time. The possibility of working „even closer" with Mads seemed to tear down some of his innermost limitations and the thoughts, which only occured in his dreams until now, started to visit Dancy while he was wide awake. In the most unappropriate moments.

They were fiming a scene inside Will's prison cell. Hugh kept rushing from wall to wall like a trapped animal, covering „doctor Lecter" with accusations. Mikkelsen listened to all of it, sometimes saying some ironic comments, which were lovingly written by the screenwriters. Everything went perfect. Then, Hannibal touched a fake dashboard on a wall and in this moment one of the assistants, which was out of sight for the cameras, opened the door, consisting of bars, with a loud creeky noise.

„What are you doing?" Hugh followed the scenario, acting out his surprise and fear.

Mads stepped into the „cage", Hugh made a step back. And another one. And another one until he touched the fake stone wall with his back. Mikkelsen, however, continued approaching him. Two cameras were filming the scene, accompanied by a barely audible buzzing sound. One was filming Mads, the other one the frightened Hugh. His heart was beating like crazy, it seemed like Dancy really became Will Graham, which was threateningly approached by the most dangerous psychopath and cannibal of America.

„Doctor..." the Brit started whispering but stuttered as Mikkelsen stopped a few steps away from him. The scenario was out of his head, it felt empty and heavy, breathing was hard and his breast was tightening.

„Let me help you, Will", Mads exhaled huskily. He smelled like tobacco, after shave and something else, something special and unique, somehing only he smelled like.

Hugh's eyes flicked from the flowery tie to his smoothly shaved chin, then down again, on his glistening cufflink, on the neat handkerchief, showing from his breast pocket , and up again, on his slightly smirking lips...Oh God...Hugh couldn't remember the scenario. He was thunderstruck, mesmerized by the closeness to Mads. Fuller didn't stop the filming process. With the silence in the room it seemed like they were on their own. Making a great effort, Dancy forced himself to look a bit higher. The thin nose. The sharp cheekbones. And, finally, his eyes. Dark, like a hot summer night. Close. Too close. And then Mads lowered his eyes a bit and Hugh literally felt him looking at his lips. The Danish opened his mouth a little bit and Dancy barely smelled the scent of cigarettes again. He was dizzy, he felt his own blood pumping through his head, and Hugh, losing every last bit of common sense, not being aware of his own actions, reached for those hypnotising, slightly open lips.

„Cut!" Fuller barked and Dancy, who only managed to make the tiniest movement towards Mads, jumped up, frightened, instantly realising which mistake he was about to make. The whole blood rushed from his face and it seemed like some cold hand clenched his heart together. Mikkelsen stepped back, making the distance between their bodies feel comfortable.

„Hugh!" Bryan rose from his chair and Dancy felt shivers down his spine. He glanced at the crew, startled.

„Hugh, this was amazing!" The producer slapped his shoulder, which made the actor tumble. „So much passion, so much expression! This is exactly what the audience is looking forward to, this...ambiguity! Even I could have sworn that you were longing for Hannibal Lecter!"

Hugh's legs didn't want to hold him anymore, but thank god he was leaning on the wall with his back. Mads was just smirking while taking out an opened pack of cigarettes out of his pocket on his way outside.

„This fear mixed with passion! This is exactly what I wanted! Hardcore bromance! Feelings on the edge!" Fuller continued with his admiration. „In the montage we're going to make it as though you're looking at the stag! Ooh I can't wait to see the results!"

„The stag? Why the fuck?!" a voice screamed in Hugh's head. His heart was racing against his ribs and his mouth was dry. Shocked, Dancy realised that he was aroused. Cautiously glancing down he noticed, relieved, that the wide prison clothes were hiding this faux pas.

„Break" Mikkelsen announced and headed to the exit of the pavillon.

„Yeah, yeah, break..." Fuller was already digging something out in another scenario, the cameras were off and the operators went outside, chatting. The makeup artist was already on her way to Hugh but he waved her off. He didn't know, whether someone noticed his urges, his desire to kiss Mads, but even if they didn't, they probably would while watching the montage. Fear was tying his stomach together like a knot and the Brit hurried outside of the pavillon as well.

There was a pleasant breeze outside, people were going up and down. Hugh didn't know many of them at all. It was a huge complex of pavillons which was rented by a dozen of different filming crews from different TV shows. Two operators were smoking in the corner, glancing at Hugh from time to time. Dancy was looking for Mads. Finally, he found the athletic figure of the Dane. He was standing in the shadow of a big tree, which had almost lost all of its leaves since it was the end of november. Hugh stepped towards him.

„Hard work, isn't it" Mads wasn't smiling but his eyes were gleaming mischievously.

„Yes, the scene was a bit tense", Hugh admitted cautiously, leaning his back on the tree and closing his eyes. Maybe, in his subconscious, he wanted it to happen again. He wanted Mikkelsen to approach him again so Hugh would feel his breath against his lips, so the urge to reach and finally percieve not only the scent but also the taste of Mads Mikkelsen would appear again...without a Bryan Fuller with his „Cut!"

But the Dane kept standing where he was, lazily pulling on his cigarette and watching his partner with some interest.

„What did you want?" he asked with a smile.

Hugh opened his eyes and looked at him.

„What do you mean?"

„What did you want to do before Bryan said cut?" Mads was smiling and Hugh felt, that the Dane was playing with him. Oh God, he knows! He knows that Hugh wants him, knows his struggles, thoughts and dreams! He felt his heartbeat somewhere in his throat but instead of being scared, Dancy felt kind of delighted. Mikkelsen exhaled a thin stream of smoke without breaking the eye contact. It seemed like he was laughing only with his eyes. He was radiating confidence, content and, as it seemed to the Brit, approval. All his appearance shouted: „You know it, I know it, why won't we just do it?" Still a bit drunk of emotions since the shooting, Hugh made a step towards Mads. Another one. The distance between them was even closer than in the scene, 10 centimetres maybe. Dancy had lost control over himself completely, especially because Mikkelsen didn't step back, didn't turn away, he didn't even look away. Mads stood there with his self-confident smile, looking at him from above and waiting.

This time Hugh couldn't even make the tiniest move.

„Mads, Bryan is calling!" some assistant shouted.

Hugh almost sweared. Hate and annoyance towards this mere assistant, who was only doing his job, burst in his chest.

„You were great. I hope he won't have issues with me now." Mads threw the unfinished cigarette on the ground and headed quickly towards the pavillon.

Dancy watched him, feeling a strange mixture of disappointment, anger and fear. Maybe it was good that they were distracted? Who knows what Mads really thought he would do. Maybe Hugh just imagined that the Dane understands everything and, more importantly, approves of it. Maybe his experiment would have ended with a broken nose. After all, Mikkelsen had a wive, had kids, he was the perfect family father, so why should he approve ot the strange kinks of his colleague? Yes, probably they just haven't understood each other. And god bless that assistant, otherwise their friendship would have ended here and now, under this goddamn tree.

Clouds appeared and covered the sun, making it much colder outside in an instant. Hugh shivered. Now he was just hurt. He experienced what doctor Lecter would have called frustration. The inability to fulfil the dreams or wishes. He felt an incredible urge to know, what Mads' kisses felt like. Would he be pushy or reserved? Would he place his hand on his neck or pull him closer by his clothes? And how long would it take until the kiss wouldn't be enough for him and his lips wold trail down Hugh's chin, down his neck, at the same time as his hands would start ripping off his clothes?...

Hugh closed his eyes and bit down on his lip. The arousal was rising inside him again, unbearably strong, insatiable. He percieved the scent of tobacco, like Mads was still there beside him. Slightly opening his eyes, Dancy noticed the still fuming cigarette on the floor.

He craved for the taste of Mads Mikkelsen.

No. He wouldn't do this. It was stupid, dangerous, with a touch of insanity!

There were tons of people. What if someone saw him? What if HE saw him...

Bending down quickly, Hugh picked up the cigarette. His fingers were shaking so hard he was afraid to drop it again. This time he wouldn't pick it up again. Still not believing he was doing this, he brought the fuming cigarette to his lips. As soon as they touched the filter, he inhaled at the cigarette for the first time in his life. His head was spinning and he wasn't sure whether it was because of the smoke or because of the realisation of what exactly he was doing. His whole being seemed to be filled with Mads, he was breathing him, when really he was just breathing in the scent of Pall Mall. Euphoria hit him. Happiness on the verge of hysteria. Hugh burst out into laugh, at the same moment feeling tears building in the corners of his eyes.

„I love Mads Mikkelsen." he whispered through his laughter. „I'm such a fool."


	3. Doubts and Torments

Hugh returned to the set right after the break. It seemed as though no one had noticed his absence. Dancy stepped towards the set „mortuary", where the lights were being adjusted and the decorations were being moved noisily. Steve, a second year student from the local acting school, was sitting there on a metal table. The makeup artists thoroughly transformed him into a corpse. In the scenario, the victim passed away from a gruesome skin infection, which literally had to cover the whole body with rotting ulcers.

„People would do anything for the credit" a deep voice above his ear said.

The Brit jumped up from surprise. He hadn't noticed that Mads was beside him at all.

„What did Bryan tell you?" Hugh asked a bit nervous, avoiding looking at the colleague. His hands trembled treacherously and he felt slightly dizzy.

Mikkelsen looked at Dancy, tilting his head a bit.

„Nothing much. We just discussed the schedule for next week."

Hugh didn't say anything, he just rubbed his neck nervously. He felt awfully stupid, exposing his interest, but not getting anything in return. This even hurt a bit.

Mads looked at the student again, „petrified" in his triumphant pose. Seemed like the boy was bursting with pride because, although he was just in his second year, he had the chance to shine in a popular TV show. His classmates might just be playing the crowd in yogurt commercials.

„But somehow, I wouldn't envy him" the Dane said, lost in thoughts, watching how the makeup artists carefully applied a thick substance on the white face of Steve. „This stuff, well, the „dead" makeup, it smells awful. Like cheap plastic. And it's very hard to get it off your skin. It irritates the skin and you get all itchy. I wouldn't envy this guy at all..."

„I'm sure this is not what HE thinks." Hugh felt his heart beat faster. What the hell was going on!? He couldn't even be in the same room as Mads anymore without getting nervous.

„Yeah, it could be worse." Mads smiled a bit „For example, if Fuller eventually decided to make Hannigram canon."

Dancy felt like he was hit on the back of his head. He slowly looked up to the Dane.

„What?"

„Now, I'm not a homophobe." Mikkelsen smiled, showing his teeth, „But I still like to be as traditional and near to the original as possible, I mean to Harris' books. I hope Fuller will listen to me and will introduce a female character worthy of Hannibal. Because this whole Bromance thing..." he stopped and thought for a few seconds, while Hugh looked at him confused, „You know, there's one thing. If you make a movie about homosexuals from the beginning, this turn of events would be reasonable and obvious. But here...I think it's just too much. I have played enough gays in my time so I don't need this anymore. It's annoying and even kind of disgusting. You can't get used to this, even after playing in hundreds of movies. It's always much more pleasant to kiss a woman. It's a pity Anderson has a new project right now. I would have loved a relationship between Hannibal and Bedelia. You know?"

Mikkelsen jokingly pinched Hugh's shoulder and then went over to Fishburne. They were about to film a scene together in the „mortuary" location on schedule. Dancy's brain was processing what he just heard. Did Mads just admit to him that he wasn't fond of this bromance? Did he just announce that „agent Scully" was much more attractive to him than the „unstable profiler"?

„What were you thinking, Hugh?" said the bitter voice in his head. „Shit, he's married almost since school, he's got two grown up kids...Throughout all your communication you didn't notice any indications that he would be interested in you. Do you think he would have let you kiss him? HA. He just didn't understand what you wanted from him. It's just your screwed up brain playing games with you, giving you the idea that you could achieve mutual feelings from Mads Mikkelsen!"

The inner voice was harsh as usual. And it was also right as usual. Hugh felt a sharp feeling of despair, feeling like something was stuck in his throat. He wiped his forehead with his hand, trying to keep it together. The scent...Dancy smelled on his fingers, shocked. The scent of cigarettes! As though he was caught doing something inappropriate, he looked around. No one was looking at him, everyone was busy with their own stuff. The filming would start in a few minutes. The scent of cigarettes, the scent of Mads...This is all he had left. He could only hope that Fuller would introduce this Hannigram to the show. And then Mads would kiss him, even forcibly, even if it's just for the camera, strictly following the scenario...Unbearable, but it seemed like Hugh could not hope for more than this.

Hugh spent the rest of the day as though looking through a deep fog.

In the evening, Dancy bought some bottles of dark beer. As soon as he was in his apartment, which the NBC was renting for him, the actor threw his huge pile of papers, which was his scenario, on the bed. You film in the morning, you learn at night. Hugh brought his hand up to his face again. Throughout the evening the scent almost faded from his skin, but the tiny, barely noticeable smell was teasing him and forcing him to feel like a drug addict, sniffing it again and again.

Dancy stripped off his clothes, leaving him only in his underwear. He should take a shower but he was too tired for this. He let himself fall down onto his bed and a moan escaped his mouth through his teeth. There was just no way out of this. In his head he could still hear the mocking voice with the european accent. „You know?" „played enough gays" „disgusting" „ It's always much more pleasant to kiss a woman" „You know?" „You know?"

No, he didn't know, god damn it! Hugh furiously turned over on his back and stared at the ceiling. He remembered the movies where Mads played homosexuals. It didn't seem as though he wasn't enjoying it. Although, of course, he was a good actor. No, he was an amazing actor! The awards are the proof.

Hugh turned his head. Beside him was the pile of paper with his scenario. „Homework" for the weekend. Eighty pages of text. Fucking work. Fucking life!

Dancy pushed the pile down from his bed, annoyed. Reaching the bedside table, Hugh pulled his laptop down on his bed. He opened it. Well, seems like he should look up what this Hannigram thing was Mads was talking about. Why hadn't he done this earlier?

Choosing to go the easy way, Dancy just typed Hannigram in his searching engine. Google gave him around 250 000 results. Swallowing, hugh clicked on the pictures. And the huge amount of information seemed to literally drown him. Blood rushed to his face and it was suddenly much hotter in his room. He felt dizzy by the vast amount of different kinds of pictures. There were fan made drawings, drawn by hand or digitally, or even edited photos. Photoshop really was some kind of magic, because on the internet it seemed that Hugh hadn't only „tasted Mads", but did it in different positions, places and, god forbid, in different costumes. There was one edited picture where he was wearing a negligee and stockings. Stockings! Shaking his head, Hugh scrolled down. The pictures were showing the astounding fantasy of their fans, as well as an excessive amount of perversion. It seemed like often the „creators" compensated their lack of talent by a pornographic perversion. Not being able to handle even a minute with his searching results, Hugh shakily closed the browser, missing the red cross in the corner of the window once.

„I can't unsee this anymore" Hugh told himself, trying to calm down. Yes, this was hard. He didn't have a clue how this might be arousing or even beautiful. Maybe one minute wasn't enough to judge the art of their fans, but he saw a lot of stuff which would make even the best profiler of the FBI feel sick.

But still, he decided to give Hannigram a second chance. Dancy dared to open the browser and type the scary word into the engine again. This time, the Brit didn't open the pictures. Instead, he skimmed through the pages google suggested him to look at. It seemed there was a huge amount of stories written by their fans, dedicated to their characters' relationship. This was more appropriate for Hugh, since there were no pictures in a text and the main characters were Will and Hannibal, not Hugh and Mads. This could only mean that he wouldn't be as traumatised as after the pictures. Entering one of the fanfiction websites Dancy spent around half an hour looking for „THE" story which would lead him to a conclusion about this topic. He would read just one. The criteria for his search were the amount of positive comments as well as the amount of likes on the work.

„Oh lord..." Hugh sighed and after opening the story he started to read it.

The beginning was quite harmless. It resembled the series a lot, which was a joy for Hugh. It seemed like it was some scene that was cut from an episode. Even Fuller would have admitted this. The writing style was clear and understandable, he noticed that the author approached this story lovingly. But like a disease, the hidden virus of Hannigram started to show itself. First it was just Hannibal throwing glances at Will, then his almost harmless proposition for Will to stay over night, because „it is pouring outside. You came here without a coat or an umbrella and I, as your doctor and friend, sipmly do not have the right to let you go outside, Will". The following events made Hugh's heart skip a beat. Doctor Lecter changed the whole situation with such an elegance and ease, so Will Graham was ready to surrender himself to him voluntarily. When Will fell down on his knees in front of his psychiatrist, Dancy's pupils widened. When the profiler started to caress Hannibal with his hand through the thin fabric of his trousers, Hugh pressed his fingers against his lips. When Graham finally started pleasing Hannibal with his mouth, which was described by the author in every little detail, the Brit caught himself nervously biting down on his fingers. He was almost jealous. Yes, no one would show this on TV, except maybe on cable TV...a special episode...Hugh blinked slowly. Arousal was building inside him like a wave. His eyes were fixed on the screen, hungrily reading the story. The events evolved rapidly and the pictures formed in the actor's head. Hannibal pushed Will, meaning Hugh, almost roughly on the kitchen table. The table was so hard that a sharp ache was spreading throughout his back while hitting it with his ribs. Yes, Hugh could almost feel it! Hannibal was standing above him. His lips were sliding down the neck of Graham, leaving a trail of lovebites.

The expensive bottle of wine fell down on the floor. Hugh could hear the noise in his head. The scent of alcohol and spices, of roasted meat and cigarettes. Lecter didn't smoke, but Lecter didn't exist either. There was just Mads Mikkelsen, who was tearing off his clothes, groaning, grabbing his hips, spreading his legs and...

Hugh closed his eyes. His breath was heavy. His body was covered with sweat. He couldn't even imagine how a simple text might arouse him so much. With a trembling hand he closed his laptop. It would be better not to know, not to dream, not to imagine this...Nothing like this will happen, why should he tease himself like this?

Dancy buried his face in the blanket. He felt shivers of excitement all over his body. It seemed like he had never lusted after anyone as much as he lusted after Mads right now. His eyes came back to his memory, incredibly vivid, his voice, his mischievous smile, his warm breath, his strong arms...His hands smelled like cigarettes too. This smell might pe permanent right now after years of smoking. Hugh pressed his own fingers against his lips, picturing that this is Mads' hand. He closed his eyes and slowly licked his fingers, imagining the face of Mikkelsen, filled with desire.

„Take me" Hugh whispered into the pillow, not opening his eyes. „Take me"

His voice was husky, aroused, and it filled Dancy with even more need. He imagined, that the Dane would sound exactly like this. Deep and vibrating. Oh, he would give anything in the world to hear genuine arousal in Mads' voice!

Dancy's hand slid down his tense body. His fingers, covered in saliva, left a wet trace. He coated them with his saliva, for what he wanted to do next needed them to be lubricated enough.

He had never done this before. He had never experimented, not even as a teenager. He grew up in a religious family so just the thought that you could be pleasured down „THERE" wasn't appropriate and guaranteed a one-way trip to hell. But he was almost fourty, he experimented with smoking today, what about something else? It's his body and his life after all...No one is here, no one would know...

Hugh slid one digit inside him. And almost immediatly a second one. It was really tight and hot in there. The Brit thought, almost with spite, that Mads wouldn't get this kind of pleasure from him. But, as he could tell by the way he felt it, it must be more awesome than with a woman. Spreading on his own bed and kicking down his underwear, Dancy continued to penetrate himself in a slow motion, biting down on his lips and thinking of the calm Dane. His arousal wasn't getting less but it also wasn't building. But as soon as Hugh thought that the rumours of that „anal pleasure" were a bit exaggerated, his fingers slid a bit deeper and brushed the sensitive spot. The man's body spasmed in pleasure and he knew he was close. With trembling hands Hugh pressed this spot again and almost moaned out loud. The wave of pleasure rolled over him once again, this time it was stronger. Clenching the sheets together with his other hand, Dancy arched his back and started his systematic assault on the sweet spot, imitating the movement of a dick inside him. He gave in to the sensations. He would need just a few more thrusts until he came. And then Hugh suddenly realised, that he might come without even touching his manhood once.

And in this inappropriate moment his nearby lying phone began to ring.

Pissed off, Dancy turned his head to his smartphone. Who would call him at a moment like this?

Mads was looking at him from the screen. The picture was taken a short time ago, on one of his shootings. Even from this static photo, the Dane managed to look at him with the knowing smile and delight in his dark eyes. Like he could see Hugh, like he was watching him. Now he was calling him, listening to the beeping tone while he was waiting for Dancy to pick up, and at the same time Hugh Dancy was looking at his phone, masturbating, thinking of him...

The sudden orgasm hit him hard, shattering his world into millions of shards. Hugh was laughing. He was laughing for the first time during an orgasm. And the phone was still ringing.

„Persistent" Dancy thought. His lips formed into a bemused smile and his body trembled pleasantly after his release. He took the phone in his hands and picked up.

„Hello Mads"


	4. Lucky Bastard

„Hi, am I interrupting you?" Mads said with a cheerful voice. Somewhere in the background Hugh could hear cars driving by.

He smiled. The sweet dullness has already spread over his limbs, making him feel at ease, and the husky voice of Mikkelsen was all Dancy needed to be happy right now.

„No, I'm reading the scenario" he answered lazily.

„You sure don't sound like it" the Dane chuckled, forcing nervosity upon Hugh. „Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself. Why I'm calling..."

For a short time there was silence between them.

„Do you want to go somewhere for a drink with me?"

The news were so unexpected that Dancy even sat up on the bed. His heart skipped a beat and then started to hammer like crazy. For a drink? With Mads? They never went out together! Well, maybe with the crew like, for example, after finishing a season. But just the two of them...Hugh decided to make sure it was real.

„You and me?"

„No, Hannibal and Will!"

The Brit pictured the smirking Mads, standing with his phone somewhere in the middle of a street, lit by the warm light of a street lantern. The wind ruffling his slightly grey hair, but his forever young eyes sparkling with joy.

„Well anyway, I'm waiting for you on the junction of Colledge and Beverly street. There's a nice irish pub and, if you haven't managed to spoil yourself with the horrible american beer, I suggest to spend the evening with a glass of the real deal!"

„Uhm..." Hugh hesitated. On the one hand, he was almost bursting with happiness because Mads called him to meet up on his own. But on the other hand, doubts were rising inside him. It was too good to be true. Despite of all the interest Hugh showed him, despite of the desire to get closer to him they still haven't grown closer together than being mere „colleagues, who have a good working relationship". Work was still work and their private lives didn't touch their „friendship". These things were close, unbearably close, but still separate, with no chance of interwining. And this sudden request, like some severe violation of fundamental rules, overwhelmed Hugh. It must have been a provocation. „You know, I know, do we have to say it out loud?" Or was it just Hugh's desire to think so? Anyway this was the crossing line. Everything depended on his answer now, because if he gave in to his doubts and refused, Mads would never call him to go out with him again. But if he accepted...

„What do you say? No, there's no problem if you're busy. I'll just invite someone..."

„I'm coming!" Hugh blurted out into the phone. Blood flushed into his face. He accepted. He took the risk. But if this was a provocation...

„Okay, meet you in half an hour" Mikkelsen hung up.

Dancy was sitting on his bed, still struggling to believe what was going on. He should think it over. If the events developed in an unfavorable way, he could lose a friend (okay, a „colleague, who he is in a good working relationship with"). He could lose the interest in his work, severely damaging the working process of the whole crew. The least he thing that could happen is he could go home with a broken jaw. But with a favorable turn of events he would be able to satisfy his needs and sleep with him...

The wave of arousal hit Hugh again. He felt shivers down his spine and closed his eyes again. This possibility seemed more reasonable than ever. The temptation was huge, but he had to be careful about this...

And there was something else. Something on the deep bottom of Hugh Dancy's heart. What if...what if it wasn't just lust? What if, when he fulfilled his desires, it wouldn't be enough for him? What if his obsession of the ironic Dane would evolve from a psychological to a physical state? What if...his infatuation would grow into something much stronger?

He didn't want to think about this, because those thoughts were like jumping into the void. It was foolish to think that he would have a soft landing...

The taxi Hugh was in passed the Queen-Park and the Brit noticed Mads' Toyota, parked accurately between an SUV and a bus station. Dancy swallowed hard. Why would Mads come here by car if they wanted to have a drink together?

On the opposite side of the street he saw the shining neon letters on a four-leafed clover of the irish pub „Lucky's".

Inside, the pub was noisy, crowded and foggy because of all the smoke. Dancy stood in the entryway, lost, not knowing where to go and where to look for Mads. But the man had already found him, literally materializing out of the crowd. He wore dark jeans, a T-shirt with some kind of anarchic design and an other shirt on top of it, unbuttoned with rolled up sleeves. The Dane's hair was a bit messy and would always fall into his face. Now Hugh thought he looked like fourty or even younger.

„I was tired of waiting" Mads said, leading him to a far away table. „It's friday, so of course it's crowded. But I managed to find the best table."

It was really very comfortable in this place. The musicians were playing their music far away from them, so they could have a conversation without losing their voice the next day. Two big glasses of beer were waiting for them on the table, with the logo of this pub on them. The fluffy foam of the beer attracted Hugh almost as much as the athletic body of Mads. At least he could satisfy one of his needs right now. He took a sip.

„I've ordered some garlic bread but if it's not enough you can order whatever you want." the Dane sat down opposite of Hugh.

„Why did you decide to go for a drink today?" Dancy almost added „with me", but he managed to get ahold of himself soon enough. It would have sounded miserable.

„Hanne went to Denmark with the kids. Some kind of a wedding, I didn't ask. Now I'm a free man until wednesday."

„It's really nice of you to ask me to join you." Hugh smiled, lowering his eyes.

„It seems to me that there is some misunderstanding between the two of us."

Dancy looked up at him startled. Mads looked back at him, squinting slightly.

„So why did you come by car if you wanted to drink?" Hugh changed the topic awkwardly. He felt his ears burning.

„I live not far away from here." Mikkelsen smiled. „Haven't you been to my place yet?"

It was an innocent question. But Hugh could swear on his career thet there was some bigger, hidden meaning behind that.

„No, I just knew you live somewhere in this area." Dancy answered a bit too cheerful. „I'll go get myself another beer"

He emptied his 0,5 in merely three minutes. He headed to the bar. While waiting in line (there seemed to be at least thirty people waiting), Hugh questioned, whether Mads was hitting on him or not. But on the other hand, earlier today Mads clearly stated that he was a man of tradition and didn't like being with men. He was contradicting and it was torturing the Brit. If only he knew for sure...

As he went back to their table, Dancy noticed some youngster talking merrily with Mads. The girl was maximum 25 and she was speaking to him full of excitement. The man was just giving her a confused smile and nodded all the time. The woman was melting from his charm. Hugh stopped at an other table nearby, where a group of students was having a great time, and watched Mads and the girl. She handed him a piece of paper, which Mikkelsen signed with his creative autograph. The girl nodded, flipping her golden hair, and was almost on her way back to her friends as Mads grabbed her hand and pulled it, as if asking to bend down a bit. The woman blushed and lowered her head. Mads whispered something in her ear. The polite smile on the Dane's face turned into something vicious. The woman blushed even more, blinked a few times, babbled something, embarassed, and hurried away.

„Who was that?" Hugh asked, although he could have guessed.

„A charming fan" Mads stretched lazily like a cat, looking like his usual self again.

„What did you tell her?"

Mads smirked, looking at his friend with mischief in his eyes. Seemed like he would take his time answering. Hugh sat down on his chair, fighting the disappointment and frustration, and Mads was looking for his fan in the crowd.

„She has a nice ass" the man said dreamy. „And her voice is so innocent, like an angel..."

Dancy clenched his jaw so hard his teeth started to hurt.

„Have you ever thought of having "fun" with a fan?" Mikkelsen winked at him. „It's strictly forbidden but you can always risk it"

„Have you risked it?" Hugh devoured his beer as though he wanted to drown his anger with alcohol.

„Shame on you, asking stuff like this. I'm a family father!" Mads said with an overacted shock. And laughed. He didn't answer the question. Hugh could have killed him for this.

„I heard the hiatus would be postponed for a week. And I have already booked my flight to the coast." Mads started to talk about work.

The conversation changed into a safe direction and Hugh allowed himself to relax. They were talking about work, about the fees, perspectives, then politics, about the conflicts in western Europe, then Mads told him some funny stories from his „ballet times", whereas Hugh told him about his „model times". Hugh didn't feel the time pass.

After another glass of beer, the already pretty drunk Hugh said:

„Shit, Mads! Why haven't we spent time together earlier? It's so great!"

The Dane, who drank a lot less then Hugh, just smiled.

„We missed up on this, but it's easy to change."

He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, while Dancy was rambling on:

„You know what I like about you? It seems like you're calm, even cold, but if you make friends with someone they learn that you are a fun and interesting guy to be with and can talk pretty much about anything. I lose track of time and even money if I'm together with you. I wonder how much money we have spent in here because I haven't got a lot of cash with me."

Hugh laughed light-heartedly, losing his head completely.

„It's called armod og kærlighed ere onde at dölge* in Denmark." Mads said, looking at the cheerful Brit with a squint.

Hugh stiffened a bit. The phrase in Danish was fascinating and frightening him at the same time. Then he realised that he might have told him too much. And he promised to himself to be careful tonight!

„What does that mean?" he smiled a bit confused.

„Happy people don't look at the clock" the Dane answered looking into his eyes. He placed the cigarette in his mouth and lightened it.

Hugh relaxed a bit, but too early as it seemed.

„Want some?" Mikkelsen asked all of a sudden, handing him the pack of cigarettes.

Dancy stared at his hand, like the man was holding a gun.

„I...I don't smoke" hugh felt panic rising inside him through his drunkenness. His brain wasn't processing fast enough.

„Ah yes, I'm not offering it the right way." Mikkelsen remembered. He smoked a bit on his own cigarette and handed it to the pale Hugh.

„You don't have to wait for me to throw it away." Mads smiled. His smile was as vicious as the one he gave his fan.

Hugh watched the fuming cigarette, which the Dane was offering him, with horror in his eyes. He heard his heartbeat up in his throat and his head emptied itself completely.

„One of the operators told me that you picked up my cigarette today and finished smoking it."

Not one thought in his brain.

„It seemed a bit...mmm...strange to me."

Not even one fucking though in his brain!

„I thought that if you just wanted to have a smoke, you'd just have asked. But it's not about the cigarettes, right?"

„I...Excuse me for a second," Hugh jumped up so abruptly that he almost knocked over the chair. He felt dizzy. Mads eyed him from top to bottom, but there was no mockery or disgust in his eyes. They were just ordinary, dark eyes, in which Hugh Dancy's soul has drowned long ago.

He needed to freshen up. Making his way through the crowd, Hugh fought himself to the restroom. It was a small room with dark green tiles and walls painted with graffiti. Stepping towards the mirrors and leaning on the sink, Hugh looked into his own eyes. They were filled with fear, despair and burning lust. Yes, he was a naive fool to think he could hide it! And he cursed this goddamn beer! Hugh sweared. He didn't know what to say once he returned to their table. He just wanted to escape. Through the window. Except there was no window. Hugh eyed his reflection again. His messy hair framed his face with soft curls and went down to his neck. His leather jacket, as well as the stubble on his chin and cheeks, didn't make him seem more confident. And especially his huge eyes framed by his long, curled eyelashes, looked very meek. The paleness faded and the blush returned on his cheeks – whether it was because he was drunk or out of embarassment.

Dancy washed his face. The cold water made him feel a bit more sober. Bending down, Hugh started to drink the water right out of the sink. In this moment the door banged behind him. Someone entered. The Brit lowered his head and looked at his own hands, which were clinging at the sink.

„Please, let it be some other guy. Oh God please, please just walk by" Hugh prayed to himself in his head, not finding the courage to look up and to look into the mirror.

The steps were getting closer. Just four steps.

He was standing right behind him. Hugh felt someone's breath on the back of his head. He couldn't breathe. He didn't look up but he was one hundred percent sure he knew WHO was standing behind him. He would never mistake HIS scent with anything else.

„Are you planning to run away from me forever?" a voice said silently into his ear.

Hugh felt shivers down his spine. Mads bent down to him, leaning on the sink, placing his hands right beside his. He pressed against him! The Brit looked up abruptly. Mikkelsen looked at him from behind his shoulder with a smile on his lips.

„I'm fourty eight, Hugh" Mads said, lookind directly into his eyes. „I can tell if someone wants me."

Dancy opened his mouth but couldn't make a sound. But as soon as Mads pushed something seductively hard against Hugh's back, a soft moan escaped his lips, giving him away.

„You asked why I invited you here? For this. Because I knew you would never approach me on your own" Mads whispered directly into his ear, touching it with his hot lips. „If you really want this, my home is at our disposal for today."

He backed away and walked out of the restroom. Dancy hesitated just for a few seconds and then shot out right after him.

Mads Mikkelsen made his way unhurriedly through the crowd. There was nothing in the whole world Hugh feared more than losing track of this broad back right now. At the bar, the Dane left some cash and pulled his jacket off the hanger before leaving the pub. Never looking back. He knew that Hugh Dancy was following him.

And he was right.

* One can't hide poverty and love. (Danish proverb)


	5. Stability

The cold wind was getting stronger towards the night, pushing Hugh's shoulders. It was much colder outside, but Dancy didn't feel it. His whole body seemed to be on fire. He walked behind Mads with an excitement of a little kid. This was an unpleasant comparison. He couldn't just turn back and go. It was impossible to end what seemed like delusion to him. It was like a sweet dream, but inside him a feeling was rising that it would end as a nightmare. Later. He didn't even want to think of what would be later.

Mikkelsen entered his car and started the engine. Hugh opened the car's door with shaking hands. While he was sitting down, he was feeling dizzy because of all the excitement. The car smelled like tobacco. The scent has eaten into the leather seats.

„Why so lost?" Mads smiled at him cheerfully. Dancy looked at him, almost in horror. He didn't understand. Maybe he imagined stuff while he was drunk and they aren't heading towards the Dane's home with a certain objective? Maybe all of this was a joke? „Hey, you really fell for it? Why should I sleep with you? Hahaha!"

„Haha" silently repeated Hugh, echoing his thoughts.

„Are you okay?" Mads was still smiling but there was some kind of confusion in his eyes.

„Where are we going?" Hugh asked just in case. He couldn't take his eyes off Mads' left hand, holding the steering wheel firm in his grip, his thumb stroking the leather as though he was caressing it.

„My flat?" The Dane raised one eyebrow and smirked. „No, you definitely shouldn't drink that much"

Hugh finally managed to look away from the steering wheel and looked at his friend, who was focussing on driving again. The car joined into a „stream" of other cars, the tires swishing on the asphalt.

They haven't been driving for long. It was just the right amount of time to spend in silence without it being awkward. Maybe ten, fifteen minutes. Hugh thought of stability. He had a job. A wife. A friend. What would be after...this? What would be after tonight? Was there hope that, once the lust was satisfied, everything would go back to what it was before? Was he ready to risk everything to fulfil just one desire, one that wasn't really appropriate?

As if searching for an answer Dancy looked at Mads. He looked away from the street to meet the other man's eyes, smiled and winked at him.

Hugh smiled back timidly. He drowned the voice of his conscience, of his mind. He understood that if he refused now, he would be cursing himself for the rest of his life. It's better to regret what you've done than what you've missed.

Mads stopped near a high building. They both exited the car and went into the lobby.

„Good evening, Jim" the Dane greeted the concierge friendly. Everything Hugh could do is just nod nervously. Now he felt almost like a criminal.

They entered the lift and Mads pressed the button „14". The doors closed silently. Hugh swallowed. A soft, silent music was playing in the lift and the bright light reflected from the white walls, blinded, as though they were in an operating room. Dancy's heart was beating desperately. Mikkelsen was so close to him that their shoulders almost touched. His nearness was driving Hugh crazy and he automatically turned to look at him. Mikkelsen was looking straight forward with a knowing smile. As if he was reading Hugh's thoughts, the Dane said:

„For security purposes, cameras are installed in the lifts"

The Brit blushed instantly and slowly looked at the floor. And he wanted to hide something from this man!

With a soft, ringing sound, the lift came to a stop on the fourteenth floor. Hugh couldn't feel his legs out of sheer excitement while they were walking down the corridor towards Mads' door. Opening it, Mikkelsen stepped aside like a gentleman, making a welcoming gesture with his hand. Dancy looked at him startled and, taking a deep breath, he walked into the flat. It was dark inside. The light of the hallway nearly reached here, but once Mads followed him and closed the door, everything drowned in darkness. Hugh turned around, about to ask where the light switch was, but in the same second he was already pressed against the wall and a rough, hungry kiss blew every thought out of his head.

The only thing that was important to him now was Mads. A lot of Mads. He filled every space inside him, his whole world. His breath, frantic, with the scent of cigarettes and just a little bit of beer, became one with Dancy's breath. Where was the ironic Dane? Calm, slightly lazy, predictable, familiar? He was an animal now. Passionate, hungry, untamed. The Brit was never in someone's power as much as he was now. Mads wouldn't allow him to take the initiative and everything Hugh could do was to press against the broad chest of his colleague, so he wouldn't be literally smashed against the wall.

For Mads, the kiss was like quenching his thirst. Dancy could have never imagined how much suppressed passion was inside the intelligent european. And only when they were running short of air drastically, Mikkelsen allowed himself to back off a bit.

„I could just køn* you right here" the Dane said with a husky voice.

Hugh felt the tension between the two of them rising. It was getting much hotter, but not in the room, it was inside them. Dancy's fingers slid down Mads' shirt and hesitantly stopped at his leather belt. It was his silent approval. Mikkelsen bent down a bit, coming closer to him and burning the already glowing cheeks of Dancy with his breath.

„Let's go"

And he grabbed Hugh's hand. Maneuvering between the furniture in the dark, it was a miracle Dancy didn't trip, he followed Mads in the depths of the flat. His eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and Hugh started to see the contures of the furniture. Their short journey stopped at a bed, on which Hugh was thrown shamelessly.

And the world painfully shrunk to just the existence of Mads, to his thirsty lips, his hot breath, the sweet heaviness of his body...Hugh involuntarily moaned, arching underneath him on the soft bed, which was made by the caring hands of Hanne. Mikkelsen smiled, not breaking their kiss, and whispered something directly into Dancy's lips in his mysterious, rustling language. Hugh trembled realising that he isn't obeying the Dane just physically but with all his soul, his mind. He never wanted to belong to anyone else more than to Mads right now.

Mikkelsen let go of Hugh's swollen lips just to kiss the soft skin of his neck, forcing another frantic moan out of Dancy. He clung desperately to the Dane's shoulders, arching and unconsciously trying to press his own burning arousal against the desired body. But Mads, a sophisticated lover, didn't hurry, which made his caresses feel like a real torture. With a string of kisses he slid down the Brit's neck, unbuttoning his shirt at the same time. He nagged slightly at the collar bone, which sent Hugh shivers down his spine. He was frantically trying to undress Mikkelsen, but if the Dane's slow pace was meant to be a torture, the Brit's excitement was making everything harder. His fingers refused to work and the buttons refused to open. But when Hugh's patience was nearly done with, Mads suddenly tore off Dancy's shirt. The buttons rolled over the floor, disappearing in some dark corners. Hugh slid the torn shirt down his arms and let it fall down onto the floor, followed by Mikkelsen's shirt. And they fell onto the blankets again, not able to get enough of each other, to satisfy their needs. Hugh ran his fingers through Mads' hair, not letting him back away. His hair was very soft and seemed thin. It smelled like wind and something distant, which he already became familiar with. Hugh suddenly realised he was happy.

The highest pleasure seemed to be their naked skin touching, but soon this wasn't enough. Mads started to lower his kisses down his collar bone, his chest, tracing a path down with his tongue. The farther down his lips were, the harder it was for Hugh to breathe. Once Mads' breath touched his lower abdomen, where his jeans ended, Dancy clenched the sheets, tilted his head an closed his eyes. Everything seemed incredible and real at the same time. Mikkelsen's palm on his languishing bulge. A clinging sound of unbelting. Then, strong hands were tearing off his jeans together with his underwear. The naked skin felt cold and incredibly hot at the same time. Then Hugh felt the touch of Mads' lips on the inner side of his thigh and, not able to hold back, he moaned, thrusting his hips upwards.

"You want it so badly?" sarcastic voice of Mads. Husky. Deep. Shivers down his spine.

"Yes..."

"Say it."

"Oh God..."

"Tell me what you want"

And he felt the teasing kisses on his thighs and on his lower abdomen again. The hot breath was just about the head of Hugh's manhood and he couldn't bear it.

"Oh, fuck, yes! Please! Please!" he was arching upwards again. Mads was smirking, noticing his embarassment. He didn't say it out loud yet, but the man still gave in. And Hugh felt everything at the same time. Lips, entwining the head of his cock and sliding down, his tongue, even teeth, slightly enclosing his flesh, creating an arousing feeling of danger, reminding him that he was in someone else's power. In the power of Mads Mikkelsen.

This might have been the best blowjob in Hugh's life. Well, at least in the past few years. And it wasn't about the technique, not about his abstinence. It was about Mads and the thought that everything was real. Huge waves of arousal were building inside Hugh, who was ready to drown in the fast approaching orgasm any moment. But the oral treatment was just the prelude and an apology for the following main act.

When Dancy was ready to come, Mikkelsen suddenly backed away. The sigh of disappointment involuntarily escaped the Brit's lips and his hips arched upwards, after Mads.

The Dane was smiling, he could see his smirk and mischievous glimmer in his eyes through the darkness. He quickly turned Hugh on his stomach in a quite rough manner. He gasped in surprise and felt Mads' heavy body pushing him into the bed. He placed kisses on his neck, biting the soft skin. A muffled moan escaped Dancys mouth while he pressed his manhood against the blanket. Too soft.

The Dane reached for the bedside table, pausing their caresses. While mads, quietly swearing on his Danish language, was looking for something, Hugh listened. He heard his own, heavy breath, which would turn into an unpatient whining sound soon. He heard his own heartbeat. Fast, frantic. He heard the sirens of a fire truck, driving by somewhere in the streets.

Mikkelsen finally found what he was looking for. Hugh percieved the sound of opening a bottle and a nearly perceptible scent of berries. Mads unbelted his own trousers and let them fall down onto the floor. Mikkelsen bent down to him again, covering his neck, shoulders and back with soft kisses this time. Hugh felt something hard and hot press against his thighs. One doesn't have to be a profiler to know what it was. Hugh moaned and bit down on the pillow. He wanted to feel Mads inside him so bad, but at the same time he was incredibly scared. His own experience with his fingers seemed to be far away and surreal now. But Mads' manhood, which was already pressing against him, was pretty real and much bigger than Dancy would have expected.

"I think we should prepare you first" Mads whispered into his ear. As he was aroused, his accent was showing more and it was a turn on for Hugh, relieving him from his fear.

And he felt the first, lubricated finger of Mads slide inside him. Then the second, the third. He was trembling while Mikkelsen was moving his hand withough a hurry. But as soon as the Dane's fingers brushed his prostate, a husky moan escaped the Brit's lips. He started moving his hips together with the hand, adjusting the angle of penetration. Mikkelsen knew that Dancy was ready.

His member was much bigger than his fingers, so the penetration hurt. Irrational fear forced Hugh to tense, making the pain worse, killing his arousal.

"Shh, shh" Mikkelsen soothingly kissed his shoulder. "My dear, my sweet, elskede, ønskes**..."

Because of his voice and the soothing kisses the panic was fading, replaced by an unknown feeling, like some emptiness inside him was finally filled. Hugh relaxed and Mads' cock slid in completely. He hit Hugh's prostate and it pulsated in response. Dancy's almost faded arousal was rising again.

Once inside, Mads started to pull out slowly, brushing the sensitive spot inside Hugh again. And inside again, a bit faster this time. And out again. Over time, the movements were getting faster, turning into thrusts. Hugh felt Mads' frantic breath against his back, felt the Dane with his whole body, with every cell, felt him on the inside and outside. It seemed magical. Mads' fingers (still wet on the right hand because of the lube) sunk into his hips and pulled him up sharply, forcing to stand on his knees. And Hugh obeyed, burying his burning face in the crook of his elbow. With his free hand he wanted to touch himself, but the Dane was faster. Mads' fingers enclosed his aching member. Mikkelsen smeared the leaking pre cum on the Brit's manhood's head. Hugh shivered and moaned quietly, his breath frantic because of the growing arousal, which was stimulated from two parts of his body now. The whirlwind of pleasure was driving him crazy. Mads was thrusting inside him and stroking him at the same time. Dancy felt that he couldn't hold it much longer, that it was impossible and all his experience with sex didn't influence this at all. He never felt like this before and he wasn't in control of his own body. Somewhere far away a phone was ringing, but everything faded away into a sudden orgasm, long and intense, striking him deep and flowing through his veins like a sweet poison, making his muscles convulse in pleasure. His knees parted and Hugh slid down on the soft blanket, smelling like lavender and their own bodies. He heard a bearly audible swearing in english and the Brit's lips formed into a smile as he felt Mads freezing after his last thrust, entering him completely. The Dane's orgasm also hit him by surprise.

Hugh waited patiently, the throbbing inside him stopped and Mads pulled out of him slowly. The feeling of emptiness, a vulgar, animalistic emptiness, which could only be filled by Mads returned to him again. In this moment, Dancy understood that their relationship would change forever.

Mikkelsen fell down beside him, breathing heavily while his body was coated with sweat. Hugh couldn't see it but he felt is when he placed his hand on his chest, his stomach, his softening manhood. Mads pulled him closer and kissed him, but not in a rough way. He kissed him softly and slowly, a bit lazily. Now he was more like the calm, predictable european again.

Then he reached for the table again, grabbing his cigarettes and the lighter. He clicked the roller for a few times. A spark and, shortly after, a warm flame illuminated his face briefly. Hugh's heart was aching out of love and grief. He knew that they had no future together. It was just sex and tomorrow would just be another day. The filming would start on monday. Claire would come to visit him next weekend. And after four months of filming they would finish this season and would be separated, in the best case, for six months. In the worst case – forever. Each with his own life, his own family, his own fate...

Hugh reached out and took Mads' cigarette. Pulled on it. Returned it to him. Exhaled the smoke.

But all of this would be later. Now, there was just them and one shared cigarette.

*fuck (Danish)  
**loved, desired (Danish)


End file.
